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Jan. 17th, 2020

Tea on the Stairs

It is time...

[mood| disappointed melancholy]

There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs. (Luke 12:2-3)

I don't think I want to risk having the wrong settings anymore for fear I make another mistake and say stupid things in the moment that others don't need to hear.

So on that note...
BJFriendsOnly
From time to time you may still find public entries...so check back if you want just in case...
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Feb. 2nd, 2010

Crazy Random, Dr Horrible

Moving!

I've moved! I'll keep this account active for a little while to transition, but I've set up shop over at http://hopememory.wordpress.com/. It's open ID so hopefully I'll still be able to keep up with you all through that.
(If you haven't opened up your journal to open ID, let me know. I'll keep the account but go through and wipe my entries
)
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Sep. 17th, 2009

Sleeping Beauty

Update: Summer To-Dos

[mood|  accomplished ]

So let's see how I did this summer with my to-do list:

1) Read as many of the books from the following list as possible and reflect on them in journal entries:

Lord of the Rings - x
The Hobbit -
Jane Eyre - x
Wuthering Heights - x
Tess of the D'Urbervilles -
The Works of William Shakespeare (His comedies + tragedies [minus R&J, JC, Macbeth, Hamlet] + histories) -
Rebecca -
Gone With the Wind -
Bleak House -
War & Peace -
Anna Karenina -
The Kite Runner -
Memoirs of a Geisha -
Love in the Time of Cholera -
Poisonwood Bible -
Doctor Zhivago -

Obviously I've already marked some of these off because I've finished them. I'll try and come up with reflections on them in the near future...can I just say that I've gotten off to an awesome run of GREAT books. LOTR and Jane Eyre have well established themselves on my top 5 list...

3, not too shabby considering I also re-read Half-Blood Prince...


2) Scrapbook.
Let's face it. I still haven't completed a scrapbook for Barbados and our Wedding/Honeymoon...so I need to do at least one of them this summer...

Well, I ended up scrapbooking Europe instead, and I'm not exactly finished yet, but I'm up to Florence...ok, so I'm about half-done...

3) Finish the cross-stitch I've been working on for the past 2 years (on and off).
I'm hoping to finally give it to Jax as a Christmas present this year...

I finished it! Yay! Just need to mat/frame it and wrap it! I'll do that closer to the holiday so it doesn't break...

4) Work towards an 90% pass rate for the athletes that I tutor (over the span of the entire summer).
This is something I aim for anyways, but it should be even more feasible if I'm able to invest more in it...I'm excited to start in on some different things...

Mission accomplished! Despite many crazy scenarios with my 'babies' (incoming Freshmen)  in World Geography (GEA 1000) involving crazy expectations from the GA and wacky tests, everyone that I tutored passed their classes! That's 100%, folks! Woot! Woot!

5) Start working out again.
It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I ran/worked out...

Yeah, no, this one didn't happen....but now that I feeling better I'm going to see what I can do!

Aug. 21st, 2009

Sleeping Beauty

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family origins - Free printable family tree

Jul. 8th, 2009

Open Arms

Surrender Jenny

[mood|    drained]

"I worry too much. Autumn trees ask me not to worry. They, like Jesus, suggest trust rather than worry. So often in autumn I want to go lean my head against a tree and ask what it feels like to lose so much, to be so empty, so detached, to take off one's shoes that well, and then simply to stand and wait for God's refilling. It sounds so simple, so easy. It isn't easy. But it is possible...

We autumn strugglers must try hard not to wear discouragement as a cloak if we can't wear enough emptiness to make us free. It takes a long time to get as far as even wanting to be empty.

Our hearts are hungering for the Sacrament of Letting Go. Once we discover that we already possess enough grace to let go, trust begins to form in the center of who we are. Then we can take off our shoes and stand empty and vulnerable, eager to receive God's next gift."
- Macrina Wiederkehr, Seasons of the Heart


A Beginning...
I've received one of the most beautiful beginnings a woman could ever ask for. I have a sublime husband who dotes on me, adores me, loves me so. It's been wonderful.
Still so many beginnings await me. I wait on Him for the beginning of my teaching career. How I wait so patiently now when months ago I couldn't bear another moment of delay I cannot fathom. I've come so far, it's strange how far He's brought me without me really realizing what the journey consisted of. I feel like that happens a lot. I expect a change in my heart to be so moment-altering; for me to have a sudden realization and then have an emotional moment and then there, there's the change. But it hasn't been like that. He's threaded me along on this journey with such subtlety. I speak now from a place of acknowledgment. Acknowledgment that it isn't mean to be yet. Not yet, He tells me. Not yet. Not this one, just wait, he says. Just wait. And I listen, and I wait, and I know that this beginning awaits me in my yonder days. And I have rest in that...as much rest as I can. Because I haven't let go completely. No, letting go takes a lot from me. Because unlike the autumn trees I try to hold on to those last hinging leaves, those last grasps of control...the longing to know...the desire to have...I still get disappointed. Friends getting job interviews, jobs, beginnings. And I wait. I breathe deep and wait. Wait for the end to the wait.

An End...
Ah my end. Where are you? What are you? Are you there? Do you wait near? Please tell me you do. I've grown so tired. So tired. Weary even. Over a month I've grappled with this flare up. It just doesn't seem to want to end. And I am so tired. Sick of being sick. Searching for it's end. Where does it lie? I want to be healthy. I want to sit on the couch and type and not feel cramping in my intestines. I want to be able to sleep through the morning without having to get up. I want to be able to tutor without having to excuse myself periodically. I want release. I need release. I don't want to have to get so much medicine that I reach my insurance prescription payout limit. I don't want this anymore! I need healing...I need an alternative...I can't do this my whole life. Do I have to do this my whole life? Please tell me I don't have to do this my whole life... Take this thorn from my side. End where are you? I wait on you. Is healing possible? Curing? Oh God, please say it's possible. What do I need to do? Do I need to do anything? Or is there more waiting in store beyond the end to this bout? Is acupuncture the way, I wonder. He's placed so many things that seem to guide that path. Maggie's relief. Jackie's words. Oh her words. How can I ignore those words? She's right, I do have more faith than what I showed her during that phone call. I have faith that He can use anything. Anything to heal me. Anything to perform His work. Oh hark, the tears of hope in the thought that it could work. The hope in it, the possibility of it stirs me. I've submitted my pleas so many times, is this His reply? I really don't have much to lose in trying. I think I will. Because, maybe, just maybe, that's my end that I wait for. And then oh what a blissful renewal I could find... a beginning...

A Reason...
And in this all I search for a reason. Why do I wait on my beginning? Why am I kept waiting for this to end? What lies in store down my own personal path only taken by me? And once again I find myself called on to surrender. In it all is surrender. Letting go. Opening my arms, unclenching my fists, lifting my head and my heart and giving it all away. Because I'm not capable of reasoning it all. There are no worldly reasons for why I am not a teacher already. I've sought them and have found nothing. The experience excuse is weak and I know it. No there is no ready explanation. Nor can I wrap my head around anything that explains why I battle this disease. Stress, diet, all of it, it's all circumstantial. Plenty of people live worse than I do and don't get ulcers. No, it's me for a reason. But no reason I can grasp. So no more grasping, no more reaching, no more dwelling.


I know there is a reason, an end, and a beginning...I'm just waiting for them...and they'll come when they're meant to. That is the only thing I can hold on to anymore.


To struggle used to be
To grab with both hands
      and shake
      and twist
      and turn
      and push
      and shove and not give in
But wrest an answer from it all
As jacob did a blessing

But there is another way
To struggle with an issue, a question -
Simply jump
        off
            into the abyss
            and find ourselves
                  floating
                  falling
                  tumbling
                  being led
             slowly and gently
             but surely
             to answers God has for us-
             to watch the answers unfold
             before our eyes and still
             to be part of the unfolding
But, oh! the trust
necessary for this new way!
Not to be always reaching out
For the old hand-holds.
- Susan W. N. Ruach, A New Way of Struggling
       


May. 19th, 2009

Book

Book Update: Jane Eyre & Wuthering Heights

[  mood  |     geeky]

A reading update!

Lord of the Rings - x
The Hobbit -
Jane Eyre - x
Wuthering Heights - x
Tess of the D'Urbervilles -
The Works of William Shakespeare (His comedies + tragedies [minus R&J, JC, Macbeth, Hamlet] + histories) - UP NEXT!
Rebecca -
Gone With the Wind -
Bleak House -
War & Peace -
Anna Karenina -
The Kite Runner -
Memoirs of a Geisha -
Love in the Time of Cholera -
Poisonwood Bible -
Doctor Zhivago -

As you may have observed, I have completed Wuthering Heights.

I found it to be a vast deal darker than Jane. While Charlotte Bronte in Jane Eyre composes a slightly dark picture, I enjoyed how amidst that darkness she allowed light to escape through enough to keep my heart yearning for more. I attached myself more quickly to Jane - I felt pity & compassion for her oppressed state and kept hoping for better for her. And as I wished, Charlotte granted and better did arrive. To be honest, I've heard so many people describe Jane's experiences at her school in the book as afflicting, dark, and just as oppressive as they were at her previous home was. Not so, I'd say! Instead she found a wonderful friend and encouraging teachers (! : ) ) Though there is an antagonist in the mix (well, some may argue more than one), it still doesn't seem as depressing as everyone makes it out to be. This may be neither here nor there for some, but I enjoyed Charlotte's consistent references to God and having faith in the merits of persevering. Not only does Jane's friend describe her devotion, but Jane later makes comments & decisions that I couldn't help but smile with because she was sticking to her faith. I won't go too far into the detail for those who have not read it and do not wish for it to be spoiled. But oh the romance! Mr. Rochester isn't your run of the mill hero. If you were to try and compare him to an Austen-hero he'd draw closer to Darcy and Brandon more so than any of the others. He's rather broody and bit harsh at times, but when he softens..sweet and devoted he is! There's something that I did not find in many of the Austen novels which distinguishes this storyline: passion. Perhaps this is what drew me to Persuasion as being able to trump Pride & Prejudice on my favorites list, but there was constancy and passion with Anne & Wentworth, I felt. This is what sealed the deal with me and Jane Eyre. There's struggle, happiness, love, separation, and delightful twists (& some unsettling ones, too).  I love it! Jane is as wonderful a heroine - smart, decent, hopeful (& an educator!). I recommend it to anyone who delights in a bit more joy than gloom in their readings. Feel free to strike up a conversation if you'd like to hear more. But I shall desist on this subject for now and shift to Emily's work.

Oh Emily, Emily. What can I say about Wuthering Heights? First off I felt as though it was a little slow to start (admittedly, so was Jane Eyre). Granted, once Mrs. Dean started into her tails I was hooked, but prior to...I wondered where it was going. Well then, that being said, I don't think I have read a book with so much gloom in a long time. There are rays of hope and happy that peek through the clouds from time to time, but they seem to be squashed until the end. I liked the end, it felt like there was closure. For a while it seemed as though none would be reached and that the darkness would prevail. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate dark, I get it..and I understand why it was dark to begin with. Take Heathcliff for example - he was mistreated, looked down upon, and neglected. So yes, I see why he turned out as he did (though as manipulative and mean...eh, Emily at least wrote a good scoundrel there). Catherine too did not have a life of all sunshine and daisies. Still, I couldn't help feeling like they should, at any moment in time, get over it. Perhaps I expected too much; perhaps I should have acknowledged that there are people/characters that will indeed live their lives all dark and twisty. I just don't know how much of that I like in my escapes from reality. I tried to attach myself to Cathy and Heathcliff, to root for them but where I thought I would find the passion that usually accompanies forbidden love, I found a lot of angst, arguing, and selfishness. I found myself wondering if it was really love or just obsession - bottled up desire was there, but it never seemed to be released to me (well, perhaps excepting one scene). I don't know if this is what was intended but I constantly felt sorry for Edgar Linton, hoping that he could be spared the hurt. I found some relief in the younger Catherine, she was less wild and seemingly less foolish. She struck me as stronger and, well, saner (this was probably written so because of her upbringing). I was annoyed with Linton Heathcliff and grew less, and less compassionate toward Heathcliff, Sr. Again, redemption lay in the ending - but even that was a little awkward. So in short, I liked it. I really did think it was well written and it had an intriguing storyline. I understand why it is a classic and why others like it. It just wasn't my cup of tea. I wanted to like it more, but I guess you can't force it. I guess I'm just too much of a Jane/Jane girl at heart.



I think, for my next book, I'll have to choose that which may have a little bit more light. I won't sign off the rest of the books that are gloomy on the list just yet, I'll ponder them. But for now I think I'll reunite with my good friend Will Shakespeare. Even his tragedies tug at my heart, and I think that's what I need right now. I'm going to try to get through all the rest that I have not read, embarking on a bit of a Shakespeare extravaganza!

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May. 4th, 2009

X-Files - Epic

Summer To-Dos

[mood | geeky geeky]

Following suit with others I know, I'm undertaking a list of things I want to do this summer. Besides finding and obtaining a teaching position, I would like to achieve the following:

1) Read as many of the books from the following list as possible and reflect on them in journal entries:

Lord of the Rings - x
The Hobbit -
Jane Eyre - x
Wuthering Heights - starting
Tess of the D'Urbervilles -
The Works of William Shakespeare (His comedies + tragedies [minus R&J, JC, Macbeth, Hamlet] + histories) -
Rebecca -
Gone With the Wind -
Bleak House -
War & Peace -
Anna Karenina -
The Kite Runner -
Memoirs of a Geisha -
Love in the Time of Cholera -
Poisonwood Bible -
Doctor Zhivago -

Obviously I've already marked some of these off because I've finished them. I'll try and come up with reflections on them in the near future...can I just say that I've gotten off to an awesome run of GREAT books. LOTR and Jane Eyre have well established themselves on my top 5 list...

2) Scrapbook.
Let's face it. I still haven't completed a scrapbook for Barbados and our Wedding/Honeymoon...so I need to do at least one of them this summer...

3) Finish the cross-stitch I've been working on for the past 2 years (on and off).
I'm hoping to finally give it to Jax as a Christmas present this year...

4) Work towards an 90% pass rate for the athletes that I tutor (over the span of the entire summer).
This is something I aim for anyways, but it should be even more feasible if I'm able to invest more in it...I'm excited to start in on some different things...

5) Start working out again.
It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I ran/worked out...


We'll see what I am able to accomplish from this list! I like the idea though...having goals and things I wish to achieve set before me.

Apr. 20th, 2009

Dreams

Dreams...

[ mood| contemplative contemplative]


Know doubt by now you have heard of Susan Boyle...Broadway star hidden for years, now revealed (yes Broadway folks, not Opera as some silly Youtubers have misslabled her - Les Miserables is a musical...there is a difference). She was brilliant..gave me chills, and as many of you know this is most certainly the main way I judge a musical performance, and brought a tear to my eye. Yet, not to demean her abilities, so much of the power of her performance lay in her selected song. It was perfrect for her. And I'm not just talking about how well she could hit the power notes (and even with coaching and such she could strengthen the lower notes - that's clear) that this song provides.
I refer also to the lyrics, the setting behind the song that so many people missed because they were hung up on her looks (seriously, get over it people and stop using that as a pitch for your segment on your morning 'news' show). Fantine, the character singing this song has gone through so much. The odds have been against her from the get-go and she's faced with the impending reality that she will go no further in life than where she is. She sings therefore of the dreams that she once had of being something different, living as though she could conquer the world, with love and hope in her heart until at last she expresses her dispair  and she laments the forces that have been pitted against her. She had a dream, but it seems at this point it is lost.

Susan Boyle, I'm sure, has had this dream - she's said in interviews that it was also her mother's dream for her. Probably until now she's had people telling her she can't make it. Now she can...she's getting the chance that Fantine never had...and that is what makes her performance so beautiful, so inspiring...that she is actualizing her dream, having the opportunity to shine, and overcoming what the lyrics are actually about - defeat.

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Apr. 1st, 2009

Jack/Rose

Pictures

Thought I'd start off my picture-posting...random shots from my day...

Our front door - JJ103 : )
Don't know why, but I felt inclined to take this...I like the colors...and the brick.


Jason working hard...
I thought he looked so handsome working on his prospectus...: )


The tree at the intersection of Duval and Tennessee
It was raining outside on my way to tutoring and I couldn't resist taking this picture at the light...so pretty...


Renegade and Osceloa
I like the sky behind them...


University Center D - home of our tutoring efforts
Have I mentioned how much I love this building?
Frangies

An Everday Entry...

[mood| busy busy]

I realized that I have been neglecting my Blogger account. I'll try to cross-post as often as I can remember from now on. I think I'm also going to catch on to the posting pictures trend. I like taking photos and -when they inspire them-writing thoughts on them as well.

Right now I've finished a few days worth of chores (clearing up clutter, dropping off Goodwill items, recycling, laundry/ironing - I have burns- how do I manage to burn myself ironing?- no clue, dishes, etc.) and have finished reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I quite enjoyed them. There's something wholly wonderful about being able to delve into a book and immerse yourself in the plotline. I like getting attached to the characters, feeling their hurt and their joy...feeling happy when they fall in love or troubled when things go wrong for them. I don't think that's as weird as so people make it out to be. What would life be if we did not find joy in books, or movies, or other things? It is not as if we are attempting to live them out...it just an escape of sorts, or an adventure that we can not partake in except in our imaginations. No, childish or silly I may be, but this I will not alter about myself. I will continue to read and enjoy books. To be excited when they are adapted and played out for me on screen. To take pleasure in the simple things.

Alas, I seek to do a few more things before the day is done. I leave this here then.

Feb. 24th, 2009

P&P Think

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles 'til you... Let go

[mood| discontent discontent]

So it's great to get complimented, and to hear about the super nice things people say about you, and of course to hear that you rock at what you do...

A teacher who's room is right next door to that which I was subbing in today had such lovely things to say to me about the behavior of the students in the class...remarking how they were so much better today than yesterday with the other substitute and all these other things...it was quite nice to hear. Turns out she even sent out an email to people, which then got fowarded on to others at the school that I am a 'clutch substitute' and that I'm good at what I do. So cool, a good boost for me in the networking scheme of things (since apparently there is the possibility of 1, maybe 2 social studies teachers retiring this year at that school - I think that's part of why she did it, so sweet of her : ) ). And at the end of the day, literally, it got me 3 days next week in an AP History gig in the Social Studies team leader's class.

Then why do I still feel a tug at my heart in the opposite direction while also feeling so pleasantly surprised?

It seems that while these things are wonderful, they just make me realize even more how increasingly over-qualified I am to be doing this. It's good classroom management training and I'm finding my comfort zone when instructing on the fly as well, so don't get me wrong, every teacher could use more revamping.  Yet I long for more. I know I can do more. Now other people know I can do more. So I find myself sad that even in the midst of this great exposure I still may not obtain what I have been made for. Cuts are being made, people in the system are being favored...it's like a wasteland for beginning teachers. And where there was hope-filled reckless abandonment to whatever He has planned for me before, now lies discontentment and a disheartened heart.

This is where I am.
Unexpected haircuts and potentially water-doomed Zunes aside.
This is where I am.

I long, but I can not muster hope like before...and it's alarming to me
I need the hope back, I need the faith restored

As I related to a friend lately, I am stuck in the ocean wearing partially-inflated floaties on my arms..I am equipped, but not to the extent that I am used to, not to the extent that I need...
So I'm out there spinning...
I'm out there swimming...
In the deep...

Feb. 23rd, 2009

Open Arms

Endless Night

[mood| drained drained]

Where has the starlight gone?
Dark is the day
How can I find my way home?

Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
Father, I feel so alone

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day

When you were by my side
Guiding my path
Father, I can't find the way

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise

I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine
(Repeat to end)

I know
Yes, I know
The sun will rise
Yes, I know
I know
The clouds must clear

I know that the night must end
I know that the sun will rise
And I'll hear your voice deep inside

I know that the night must end
And that the clouds must clear
The sun
The sun will rise
The sun
The sun will rise
 
 
Tea on the Stairs

In the Deep

[mood| drained drained]     Thought you had 
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning...
And now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

In the deep...

Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there swimming...
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep...
 

Feb. 2nd, 2009

Cheetah

I Want to Go to There....

[mood | ah_determined determined]


I'm going to Africa...


Don't know how, when, where, or even entirely why...


But I'm going...




Jan. 24th, 2009

Peridta

They Only Voted for Him Because....

[mood | Thoughtful thoughful]

So it has been only a few days since Obama has been sworn in as President of the United States and there are already people criticizing the man for poor judgment. Seriously? 5 days people. But honestly, I can endure those comments (mostly because I can chuckle it off...), but do you know what I'm getting restless about? The race issue. Enough is enough.


People are still complaining about how they're frustrated or scared about the fact that 'some people' (though I've yet to see a legitimate  example produced for me...) voted for him just because he's black. I have so many things to say about this:

1) If those said people truly do exist they are probably a very teeny tiny, itty bitty minority of the voters. So few that they probably would not have made that big a difference...

2) Probably just as many people didn't vote for him for the same reason. Doh! Argue that one...

3) If voters did in fact use that in any part of their reasoning for why they thought he should be President of our country, maybe we need to pause and think about why:
--No, it's not because they all hate/resent white people. Get over yourselves, you're not that important, step back out from yourselves and take a good look at your 'whiteness'. No matter how much you can complain, you still probably have it better. For example, walk into a school that is at an obvious disadvantage just because they have low property values in their region that is minority dominant and truly understand the school system in Florida. There is no way that you can say that many individuals of minority descent are not disadvantaged from their youth and are made to feel so through the environments that they are put in. But that's such a long story we won't go into it now..But quite frankly even if they did resent the predominately white legislature for the way things are carved out for them...I can't say I blame them so much...Not saying they don't have a role in changing their own lives, but that must be facilitated...
--Which brings me to my next point. Perhaps individuals look at Obama and say, 'yes, finally, a black man. someone who will work for us.' Is that a crime? I don't think that's such bad reasoning. He knows about their plights, he grasps their history, he can see things from their perspective. Isn't that typically why people vote for who they vote for anyway? Someone who can relate to them and how they feel about things? Think about this, really. Obama is a smart man. He's well -spoken. He stands for change. The truth is the majority of Americans - black, white, latino, etc - wanted that over another 4 years of the same stuff. And really, if one looks at the demographic break down...there is a slight trend that black voters tend to lean to left.. or at least that was the case the last time I took a government class....
--But why is it that they don't feel like white politicians would benefit them? People need to stop complaining and start figuring out ways that other candidates can appeal to all of America. That was the key to Obama's campaign. Not that he was black, but that he reached out to people of all race, income, gender, and yes sexuality people. The reality is that they are citizens of this country, and so long as any group of people feels alienated, they will act on that feeling when the time comes.

4) This was going to happen some day. I bet you anything people would have made the same argument anywhere down the line. It's actually just quite pathetic really...If someone can't come up with any other reason he'd be appealing to people then they're more close-minded and egocentric than I thought. If one is afraid that people voted for him for that reason alone, then that's just silly...I would think that if one holds so firm to their beliefs that they would be afraid that people voted for him because he's a 'terrorist' (lol - utter ridiculousness), or a 'commie' (lol again), or he'll 'destroy the fabric of our families' (*sigh*). Or whatever...but race, really? I would think that's the tamest of the possibilities...Oh and I'll throw this argument right back in the faces of everyone who made it against people like me...way to have such low opinions of your fellow Americans. Honestly, these race statements that are being made so implicitily really are offensive. Black people only voted for him because he is black...meaning, what?  That they are so incapable of standing behind any other Democrat who stands for change in tough times, that it was only because he is black that he could earn their vote? That it was only because he was black that people got out and voted? They can't make more informed decisions? Black people are that incompetent? Really? Because that's what it sounds like people are saying to me. May I remind you that it was pretty neck in neck in the primaries until Hillary backed out. And wait, guess what.? SHE'S A FLIPPIN WHITE WOMAN. The connection there? Not only did they both stand for different policies from the last 8 years, but both could argue that they could appeal to people of diverse groups. The Clintons stand very high in the minds of minorities because they worked to better the lives of all Americans during Bill's terms. So you see, it really doesn't have to do with the color of the candidates skin, not to probably 99% of the voters.


Quite frankly we all need to stop pulling the race card. Enough already. It is never really as bad as we all think it will be. I feared that in his second term Bush would open the draft...it didn't happen. I feared that we'd start another war...it didn't happen. No one really saw all this economic downfall coming. Not really. These things happen. Our families are already falling apart, and it has absolutely nothing to do with gay marriages or abortions - stop displacing and focus on your families and how you're raising your children. Trust God if you really believe He's sovereign. Our economy is already in shambles, why not help people and see where that takes us, the worst thing that will happen is that we are benefiting our citizens instead of big companies or insurance agencies. The world will not end because black people happened to vote for  a black man. Dig deep. Why is that an argument that is made?

Jun. 4th, 2008

Sleeping Beauty

Change

[ mood | optimistic]


Got hope?

I do...

Change is in the air...



Becoming Jane

Lucy

[mood |  calm ]
Suddenly
It all seems like a blurry dream
But I was there,
Wide awake- I lived it all

Come back to me
I'm longing for you
And my dreams to be true
When the fields bloom bright
Mountains glow
I see Him

We were there
We were kings and queens
Close to you
Wide awake
I know where I belong
But memories are strong

Come back to me
I'm longing for you
In dreams to be true
Where the fields bloom bright
Mountains glow
I see Him

I'll come...

Where the fields bloom bright
Mountains glow
I'll see Him

I'll be back
When I hear His voice
Hear Him call
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May. 18th, 2008

Becoming Jane

Beautiful

[mood mellow | mellow ]

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and now one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Apr. 19th, 2008

Sleeping Beauty

Jane Austen = GENIOUS

[mood|  thankful]

I would like to just take this moment to thank God for Jane Austen and her stories ( and the movies and miniseries that have flowed from them)


: )



That is all.

Apr. 6th, 2008

Sleeping Beauty

One Voice

[mood |   optimistic]

A voice cried out amidst the dark of the world...
It strained to be heard and yet no one stopped to listen...
Skeptics sauntered by, hissing disparagements...
    'You are wrooong', 'You are naiivee', 'Why booother?'...
Still it carried on, yearning to be heard...
Then one day someone stopped to listen and decided to join in...
And the two called out as one, and their voices grew louder...
    A speck of light poked through the gloom...
And their numbers grew as more stopped to listen...
And the voices grew louder, clearer, and stronger...
    In the darkness a ray of light glimmered through and revealed the land of possibility...
And more voices joined in...
The voices carried out into the world...
building....
growing...
strengthening...
    Until finally a flash of light overtook the world...
        and all were covered in the radiance of hope...
            and the air was filled with a song of promise...
              every mind was filled with luminous faith...
                 every heart was filled with resplendent love...
                    and there was joy...
                        there was patience...
                           there was kindness...
                              and most of all...
                                  there was peace...
And it all began with a voice crying out in the darkness, daring to believe...


It begins with one. Where is your voice?


Mar. 25th, 2008

Sleeping Beauty

Because the wind is high, it blows my mind

[mood | Peaceful peaceful]

So I saw Across the Universe and I love the soundtrack because it's so easy to sing along to! And it's the Beatles! Woot! Anyways, I thought I'd include some of the lyrics to "It Won't Be Long" because I feel that it becomes more and more applicable as the days go by and it's a fun, lighthearted song that helps the time seem to pass by more quickly...:)


Since you left me I'm so alone,
Now you're coming, you're coming on home,(you're coming home)
I'll be good like I know I should,
You're coming home, you're coming home.

Every day we'll be happy, I know,
Now I know that you won't leave me no more.
It won't be long yeah(yeah)yeah(yeah)yeah
It won't be long yeah(yeah)yeah(yeah)yeah(yeah)
It won't be long yeah(yeah)
Till I belong to you.

On another note...I can sense His presence more lately...I'm not anywhere near as consistent as I would like, but I feel like before I had lost the essence of this quote:

"It's like the wind, I can't see it, but I can feel it"

I feel like I've gotten a bit of that back...and that feels amazing.

The Story Can Resume...

Mar. 17th, 2008

Becoming Jane

I Pray the Lord My Soul to Keep

[mood|   Blank  blank]
My registration window for summer classes opens tomorrow at 8:00 am and there is a phantom registration stop that has mysteriously appeared from no where...
I need three classes...
The education class has 25 seats so I'm not terribly troubled about that, but the geography classes are slightly more precarious...
There are only 10 seats in the GIS course and the Globalization course and my backup, Transportation Geography has only 5 seats....
I don't want to panic, in fact, I'm doing quite well considering...
In fact I'm more anxious about the fact that I will probably have to miss out on subbing, if I get any calls in the morning, in order to straighten things out. It would be one thing if I could just get someone else to go on at 8 am and do it for me while I'm at a school, but if I have to call admissions and figure out why the are reporting that there is "No student data" then I can't do that...There's a possibility that no one will even call me tomorrow, and I've resigned myself to calling the school that has requested me more frequently on Tuesday and letting them know I'll be available on Wednesday and Friday, but I still feel a pang of guilt...I don't want schools to think me unreliable and then stop calling, and I don't like the idea of having to miss out on a days work...
But I do need time to write my paper for Thursday and it never hurts to get further ahead with Easter this weekend and a book review due next week...
Anyways, the point is, I need some support..so if you think about it, please pray..or if you prefer another term, send out a wish on my behalf...God will hear it either way and I could really use the back up...pray/wish that I can get the classes I need to graduate at the end of the summer and that I will continue to receive calls to substitute if I do not accept any tomorrow...Thank you

When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?

Psalm 56:4
When through the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze:
            
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
*EDIT* *UPDATE*

[mood|   Relieved  relieved]

I was able to get in and register for all the classes I need! And I didn't have to resort to my backup!
Still waiting on the comprehensive exam, there's been a hick up, (my adviser isn't teaching this summer so we can't register under her name, so we'll probably have to end up registering under someone else's...)but they're working it out (oh the bureaucracy...)
So I missed a day of work, for it, but my summer schedule is secured...
Now if only I could motivate myself to do my paper for Thursday, oh well...one does what one must
Thanks to anyone who read the original message and acted on it! :)


This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Mar. 16th, 2008

Becoming Jane

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep

[mood | sleepy sleepy ]

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge
and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the
fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find
refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield
and rampart.

Psalm 91:1-4

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within
me

Psalm 51:10
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Sleeping Beauty

I'll Be Seeing You

[mood|  loved]

I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.

In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The children's carousel;
The chestnut trees;
The wishin' well.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;
In every thing that's light and gay.
I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;
In every thing that's light and gay.
I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you.


The Story Can Resume...5 Days...

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Mar. 14th, 2008

Dreams

What a Wonderful Year for the Movies!

[mood|  excited]

Following Leah's lead: I decided to make a list of the movies I'm looking forward to! :)

Penelope - Cute!
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - Not as epic as the first, but good stuff! See my review on Flickster if you want more!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - He's back and as good as ever! Woot!
Sex and the City - So, so, so, so gooooood....As always I could love this show just as much if not more without the first word in the title and in the episodes/movie, but they did such a great job of rounding up the storylines for the characters...hope they don't try to make a second movie because I'm not quite sure how good it will be...
WALL-E - June 27
The Dark Knight - Amazing! The best superhero movie I've ever seen! It has depth and action all at once. I can't wait for the next one!!!
Mama Mia! - July 18
X-Files 2! - Great fan movie! If you're looking for anything else, you will be sorely disappointed...it provides a good sense of closer for all those Shippers out there who wondered about the lives of their two favorite FBI agents
September 12 - The Duchess
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - November 21
Twilight - December 12
The Revolutionary Road - December 19
FAME! - December 25

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